Screenplay for Inanna Episode Two - 2016 A.D.

Inanna - Episode Two: 2016 A.D. by John Joyce Baker

(Inanna, Ninshubar and Ereshkigal are seated on a couch.  Inanna taps away at her iPad.  Ninshubar reads The Washington Post.  Ereshkigal leafs through a dog eared copy of Jean-Paul Sartre's "No Exit.").

INANNA:  Hmm... trending!

NINSHUBAR:  Eh?

INANNA:  Breaking news.  Nick Menza from Megadeth died.

(Ninshubar leafs through her paper).

NINSHUBAR:  Is that in the obituary section?

INANNA:  You're not going to find it in your inky old paper.  It just came up on Twitter.

ERESHKIGAL:  Get with the times, grandma.

(Ninshubar glares at Ereshkigal, then returns to her paper).

INANNA:  Trending!  Who's Peter Shaffer?

NINSHUBAR:  He wrote "Equus" and "Amadeus."  Why do you ask?

INANNA:  He just died too.  Ninety years old!  Not bad for a human.

NINSHUBAR:  Ninety-- That is STILL too young!  He had so much more to contribute!

ERESHKIGAL:  Not anymore.

NINSHUBAR:  2016!  What is it with this awful year?  It is slaying the best and brightest!  David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Prince and Muhammad Ali!  And there were so many more!  And yet Snooki still walks the earth!  Is 2016 more than just a series of digits printed on a calendar?

ERESHKIGAL:  Here comes the conspiracy theory.

NINSHUBAR:  Is 2016, in fact, some malevolent emanation that strikes down those whom the world holds beloved?

INANNA:  You mean like my sister?

ERESHKIGAL:  Don't drag me into this.

(Again, Ninshubar glares at Ereshkigal).

NINSHUBAR:  Well?  Are you not the Goddess of Death?

ERESHKIGAL:  I'm the Goddess of the UNDERWORLD.  I don't knock 'em down, I just gather 'em up.

NINSHUBAR:  That is a very thin line between one job and another.

(Ereshkigal yawns.  Ninshubar continues glaring at Ereshkigal).

ERESHKIGAL:  What?

NINSHUBAR:  Well?

ERESHKIGAL:  Well what?

NINSHUBAR:  Are you going to do something about it?

INANNA:  Yeah, sis, what are you gonna do about it?

ERESHKIGAL:  Why is this on me?

NINSHUBAR:  Surely you can do something to turn the tide against this necrotic brain drain?

(Ereshkigal sighs.  She puts down her book, rises from her seat and cracks her knuckles).

ERESHKIGAL:  Will you ladies excuse me for a moment?

INANNA:  Sure.

NINSHUBAR:  Where are you going?

ERESHKIGAL:  Relax.  I'll be right back.

(Ereshkigal leaves the room.  Ninshubar frowns and returns to reading her paper).

(Suddenly, a series of thunderclaps crack through the air.  Ninshubar starts up with a jolt.  Inanna's eyes widen as she gazes at her iPad).

INANNA:  Ooh!  Trending!

NINSHUBAR:  What is going on?

INANNA:  Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Mitch McConnell, Ted Cruz, and Pat Robertson died suddenly due to unknown causes!

(Another thunderclap).

INANNA:  Oh!  There goes Kanye West!

NINSHUBAR:  What in heaven?

(Ereshkigal re-enters the room flexing her fingers.  She sits down and returns to reading her book).

NINSHUBAR:  Eresh!  Did you hear what happened?

ERESHKIGAL:  What?

INANNA:  A whole bunch of unrepentant assholes who deserved to die just died!

ERESHKIGAL:  Huh.  What are the odds?

NINSHUBAR:  I wonder what caused it to happen?

ERESHKIGAL:  I guess it was just... divine providence.

NINSHUBAR:  Eresh?

ERESHKIGAL:  What?

NINSHUBAR:  Why do you smell like ozone?

ERESHKIGAL:  You're imagining things.  Just read your inky old paper.

(Ninshubar shifts an inch away from Ereshkigal.  Inanna sits up on the couch).

INANNA:  Hey, I just remembered!  I wrote a whole song about my vulva on my Jam Session app!  Wanna hear it?

NINSHUBAR AND ERESHKIGAL:  No!!!

(Ninshubar notices Ereshkigal reaching under the couch and drawing out a katana.  Inanna sees Ereshkigal giving her a murderous glance).

NINSHUBAR:  NO!  No, no, no!  Bad Eresh!  Bad, bad, bad!

(Ereshkigal sighs and places the katana down).

ERESHKIGAL:  Next time.

(Inanna whimpers).

END?

-JJB