Screenplay for Inanna Episode Three - The Evening Star.
(Shara, Inanna's son, is staring up at the evening sky. The sun has set, its passage marked by the afterglow. A bright star appears in the sky. He turns to his mother).
SHARA: Momma, what is that?
INANNA: That, my child, is the evening star!
SHARA: Oh!
INANNA: It is a special kind of star. It is called a "planet." A planet wanders along its own path, unlike the fixed stars in the heavens.
SHARA: Amazing!
INANNA: And if you wish on it, your wish will come true!
SHARA: Will it really?
INANNA: It will! Just repeat after me: Star light, star bright...
SHARA: Star light, star bright...
INANNA: First star I see tonight...
SHARA: First star I see tonight...
INANNA: I wish I may, I wish I might...
SHARA: I wish I may, I wish I might...
INANNA: Have the wish I wish tonight!
SHARA: Have the wish I wish tonight!
INANNA: What did you wish for?
SHARA: It is a secret!
INANNA: What if you whispered it in Momma's ear?
SHARA: All right!
(Inanna leans down to Shara, who whispers in her ear. The beatific smile on her face fades and turns into a frown).
INANNA: Oh. Uh, really?
SHARA: Really!
INANNA: Are you SURE that is what you want?
SHARA: Yes, more than anything!
INANNA: Well-ll-ll-ll, just remember Shara, some wishes do not immediately come true, sometimes they...
(Ereshkigal shows up. Inanna rolls her eyes and mouths the words, "oh, shit.")
SHARA: Yay! Auntie Eresh!
ERESHKIGAL: Hello, rugrat!
SHARA: I wished you here, and here you are!
ERESHKIGAL: Really?
SHARA: Really! On the evening star!
ERESHKIGAL: And who taught you how to do that?
SHARA: Momma did!
INANNA: (Between gritted teeth). Hello, Eresh.
ERESHKIGAL: Hello, sister dear. What HAVE you been putting between my nephew's ears?
INANNA: Shara and I are having a nice evening out, and it would be REALLY nice if...
ERESHKIGAL: If I told Shara a story? Of COURSE I will!
INANNA: Eresh, I do not think that is a good idea...
SHARA: Yay! Auntie Eresh is gonna tell me a story!
INANNA: Motherfu--, er, Mother has no problem with Aunt Eresh telling you a story, PROVIDED she keeps it clean!
ERESHKIGAL: Absolutely!
(Ereshkigal points to the evening star).
ERESHKIGAL: Shara, that is not really a star. It is a world named after your Mom!
SHARA: After Momma? Is it like our world?
ERESHKIGAL: Oh no, precious. It is not like our world. Any world named after your Momma could not be like our world!
SHARA: What is it like?
INANNA: Eresh...
ERESHKIGAL: Hush! Planet Inanna is a harsh, hellish world with poisonous air that is 96% carbon dioxide...
SHARA: Uh, yeah?
ERESHKIGAL: And it has clouds made of sulphuric acid, which are powerful enough to melt your face clean off!
SHARA: Ew!
INANNA: And that is the end of the story--
ERESHKIGAL: Oh, NO, this is where things get really nasty! You see, your Momma's world also has a surface temperature of 735 degrees Kelvin...
SHARA: Is that hot?
ERESHKIGAL: Hot enough to burn your balls off!
(Shara gasps and places his hands over his groin).
INANNA: Oh, look, Shara! There goes another star! It is called--
ERESHKIGAL: ONE story at a time, sis. The atmospheric pressure of Momma's world is 92 times stronger than here on Earth, which would crush your skull like a soda can!
SHARA: Soda is nice.
ERESHKIGAL: Not if it is coming out of every orifice of your body!
SHARA: What is the ground like?
INANNA: Oh, for heaven's sake, do not tell him about the ground...
ERESHKIGAL: Do not interrupt! Where was I? Oh, yes! The ground is barren and scorched by toxic winds, where no river can flow and no plant can grow so no animals can survive!
(Shara whimpers).
ERESHKIGAL: And nearly every day, angry volcanos erupt, spewing lava and smoke and sulphur that makes the ground crack open! It is a vision of hell itself!
SHARA: Mom, did YOU name this world after yourself?
INANNA: Uh...
ERESHKIGAL: Oh, no, no, no, Momma did not do that! A bunch of really stupid, really superstitious people who worshipped your mother did that. All because they thought it looked shiny!
INANNA: Eresh, I swear I am going to...
ERESHKIGAL: So the lesson to be learned today, Shara, is that all that glitters is not gold and beauty is only skin deep. Everything else is rotten to the core!
SHARA: (Sobbing). Auntie Eresh, that is the worst story I have ever heard! (To Inanna) And
you LIED to me, Momma!
INANNA: Oh, Shara, my morning sta-- er... why do you not go and play something nice like World of Warcraft with Poppa?
SHARA: You are mean, Auntie Eresh, and you are a dirty liar, Mom!
(Shara runs off bawling. Ereshkigal smiles. Inanna scowls and gets right in Ereshkigal's face).
INANNA: FUCK... YOU.
ERESHKIGAL: You think anyone will name a world after me?
INANNA: What if I renamed MIAMI after you? It will be underwater and shark infested in fifty years!
ERESHKGAL: I’ll take it!
END!
- JJB
Yeah, I kind of still feel put off by the script, as I had back in the beginning when I said “whoa, wait! In “Contact”, Ellie Arroway describes being a child hearing her father explain all the lava and sulfurous gasses of Venus and her response being ‘I am hooked on astrophysics now!’” It pained me to see young Shara react with such horror and trauma. Probably doesn’t help that Auntie Eresh was delivering this impromptu science lesson with such bitchy darkness. I do understand the point was to bring two sisters into conflict over what to tell the child about the planet. Still painful for me to read.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had such a negative reaction. It was meant as a parody of what my mother told me about Venus, aka the Morning Star, and what my astronomy text taught me. I wasn't traumatized by the knowledge. At most, my reaction was, "Damn, I actually wanted to go there!" The story was a combination of me learning about Venus with all the scary stories older kids would tell me just so they'd see me cry. This is purely satire, not sadism.
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